Sex is not a weapon. Period. People should not use sex to a) try to keep a partner. b) get some bills paid c) make your partner throw out the trash or paint the garage or give you a back massage.
Sex is not to be associated with any emotion. Period. Sex does not mean a) the person you’re fucking is in love with you (regardless of what they scream out) b) the person cares about you. c) the person wants to see you again.
The simple rule I try to follow is this: do I want something more than a long, intense nut? If the answer is yes, I’m going to have to have a talk with this potential partner BEFORE we get nekked. Now, when you indulge in the freak side, there’s a simple etiquette that should be followed. It’s called discretion. Just because we indulge, that doesn’t mean we have to tell everyone who will listen about our adventures. And if you’re doing it just so you have a story to tell, STOP IT.
If you enjoy being fisted by someone wearing a lab coat, happy orgasm to you! If you’re obsessed with midget porn, happy stroking! If you want to be the recipient in a bukkake party, with brothas of all shapes, sizes, and colors while someone licks between your legs, and your hands are busy stroking a clit, and someone is lightly twisting your nipples………..sorry, having a moment, but you get the idea.
In comes Karrine Steffans. She fucked ½ of Hollywood and wrote a book about it. Then she fucked the other half and released a new book this month. Great. Just great.
So now, she’s spilling all the secrets. And I don’t mean secrets of “who” but secrets of what people like to do in the bedroom. Karrine has accused rappers and radio personalities of being gay or bi. She wrote about giving a certain white, well respected actor an enema. She’s telling it all. Why should I care? I mean, it’s not my pussy right? Well, let me tell you why I care. I care because our community is quick to use one persons irresponsibility as a blanket excuse for what is wrong within the community. People immediately revert back to talk of “needing jesus” in life. Which invariably leads to talk about how sex is “supposed” to be. You know, the married kind, where you have sex on Saturday nights after the kids have been put to bed (and the man is on top). People (in general) do not respond well to change. From birth control to homosexuality, people are still hung up on semantics. Change and new ideas need to be brought about slowly. Why is there so much faith placed on dogma? Because people know that the minute the planet realizes that sex and people interaction are mutually exclusive, it is no longer effective as a weapon. You can’t string someone along with sex if they can get it however and whenever they want.
Karrine fucked up on a bunch of levels. First, she was foolish to believe that her pussy and dick sucking skills would bring her fame. The truth is there are a lot of people out there with great pussy, dick, sucking, and licking skills…….what made her popular was the fact that she did it so easily.
Second, she thought she could work the “I made mistakes and I want to keep other young black girls from making the same mistakes” approach and get famous that way. News Flash: young black women do not aspire to be whores.
We gave her a collective pass after the first book and she writes another? We tried to get rid of the “whore” label for her by giving her a collective passs and she picked that label right back up and attached it to her t-shirt with a second book.
When Karrine books were published, the freak worlds collective groan was loud enough to be heard in Kerala, India. This was too much information for the community to handle. And what do we do when we don’t understand something? We throw rocks at it. Just about every black woman in America started the chorus of ……
“Ewwww she’s a nasty hoe”
“See? It’s women like her that I can’t get a man, I mean, why commit to me when they can have her nasty ass for free?”
“This is why men don’t respect women”
You know the routine. Instead of seeing this for the isolated circus that it is, people use this as an excuse for what is wrong within our community. There is no shame in my freakdom, really, there isn’t. But I have enough sense to understand that not everyone is going to agree with my lifestyle and what I like to do in the bedroom. And when you bottom line it: what I do, in my own bedroom, with another consenting adult isn’t any other their business anyway.
So I keep my mouth shut. Not out of shame or guilt either. I keep my mouth shut because I don’t feel the need to explain my desire for facials to someone who is not going to be providing that service.
Karrine, have a seat and shut the fuck up.
PS: she’s not fooling anybody Karrine Steffans = Karen Stevens.